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Certificates of Guarantee

We deliver our Guarantee in two forms: An Adobe Acrobat file (acid-free) and a printed, high-quality, suitable-for-framing version. For more information click Announcements.

PDF To view a sample (voided and clearly inoperable) of our PDF'd guarantee, click Sample Certificate.

Cheap at Twice the Price.

His Stupendousness.

Professional Counseling.

The 17th century writer, Thomas Hobbes, found life unappealing. And he was pretty blunt about it. In his book Leviathan, Hobbes penned the observation that life was "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." Not the sort of conversationalist you invite to the Christmas party.
"Lucky," the contented customer featured here, was once a downright hobbesian character. He lived a miserable life for many, many years. He was a serially bad selector of wives. He was mindlessly optimistic without any justification for harboring even slim hopes. All of his great expectations were absurd.

He suffered from depression, eating disorders, alcohol abuse, paranoia, bad feet, a slight stutter, and laziness. He was clumsy and insisted on public dancing. He couldn't carry a tune, either. Or write a complete sentence. No matter what he tried, he could never remember where he left his car keys. He was myopic. He killed house plants. Dogs barked at him. He had a cowlick.

One day, in utter desperation, our hero invested in an EncoreAgain Reincarnation. Since he had virtually no imagination, he was hard-pressed to come up with a future form. So, he chose "lucky" as his target existence. It was an inspired choice.

Today, the reincarnated Lucky has perfect pitch, a Porsche, and sparkling teeth. He has earned a life-time ban from playing mega-lotteries worldwide by winning three jackpots in succession. Throughout his life, he has avoided all litigation. His investments flourish. Women interpret his repeatedly being at a loss for words as evidence he is the strong, silent type. He is, needless to say, a happy camper.

Lucky puts it simply: "Nothing in the world compares with the good fortune one can discover by purchasing an EncoreAgain Guaranteed Reincarnation. Without it, there's no telling what form I might have returned to embody. Or even, perish the thought, if I'd have returned at all..."
Various Speculations
Ruminations, conjecture and speculation by the All-Knowing One in his blog.

Butterfly Effects - It's the little things that matter. And the unintended that always seems to surprise us.

The Un-Dead Reborn - Everything you ever wanted to know about the implications of lifespan on the inanimate.

The Inevitable - How we should all think about fate.

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