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Certificates of Guarantee

We deliver our Guarantee in two forms: An Adobe Acrobat file (acid-free) and a printed, high-quality, suitable-for-framing version. For more information click Announcements.

PDF To view a sample (voided and clearly inoperable) of our PDF'd guarantee, click Sample Certificate.

Cheap at Twice the Price.

His Stupendousness.

Professional Counseling.

Ida Turtle is a deliriously happy reference librarian in Skowhegan, Maine. Her days are filled with quiet, rarely interrupted by a faintly snickering child. Ida was formerly Yaritza Aparecido, Brazilian supermodel. In that life Ida was profoundly sick of the paparazzi, the noise, the glamor and the fast pace. Now, she is content.
Ida Turtle During her sojourn as a supermodel, Ida (then Yaritza) endured endless complaints from fans and media about her intimidating greyhounds, her lavish eyelashes, scandalous liasons, please-pay-attention-to-me shoes, Irish country manor, friendship with Naomi Campbell, self-promotion and simultaneous pursuit of privacy, obsession with collecting hair brushes and combs, erotic home movie downloads, professional athlete boyfriends, and tasteless topiary.

Today, reborn as a helpful, slightly plump librarian, she enjoys the winters in Skowhegan (ten months worth) and the quiet contemplation that only an empty library can bring. As Ida puts it, "I considered a next life as a seamstress, but opted for the intellectual satisfactions of reference. There's really nothing quite like curling up with the third edition of Masterplots and reading oneself to sleep."
Various Speculations
Ruminations, conjecture and speculation by the All-Knowing One in his blog.

Butterfly Effects - It's the little things that matter. And the unintended that always seems to surprise us.

The Un-Dead Reborn - Everything you ever wanted to know about the implications of lifespan on the inanimate.

The Inevitable - How we should all think about fate.

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