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Suitable for Framing Our Guarantee

We deliver our Certificate of Guarantee in two forms: An Adobe Acrobat file (acid-free) and a printed, high-quality, suitable-for-framing version.

Our Prices: PDF Version
  60-Day Trial: No Charge
  Unlimited Version: $2.95

Our Price: Printed Version
  Unlimited Version: $19.95
    (plus shipping)

To learn more about the many features of our unconditionally guaranteed reincarnations, click Our Guarantee.

To receive your very own reincarnation, just fill in the two fields (one for your scum's name and one for his fate) at the bottom of this page and then click, "Send Me My Certificate."

PDF To view a lovely but voided and clearly inoperable sample of our pdf'd guarantee, click Sample Certificate.

To The Store Main Page.

His Stupendousness.

Satisfied Customers Speak.

Professional Counseling.

This is your opportunity to specify the exact form in which you wish to be reincarnated. You can become anyone or anything you'd like, in the distant past or far in the future. And on an utterly complimentary, 60-Day Free Trial basis.

Better yet, satisfaction is guaranteed. Plus, we'll rush you a stunning Certificate of Guarantee (pdf or print) to prominently display electronically (a tasteful, black digital frame is nice) or physically (on the wall right next to your Harvard University diploma).

In a Nutshell
Basically, you pick a future form of existence and we guarantee your reincarnation in that form. We deliver a striking Certificate of Guarantee. Prest-o, change-o, a new you. Or double your money back. (For details on Free Trial refunds, see below.)

As you can see below, our Certificate is a knock out. If you'd like an even more impressive view, click Sample Certificate.

We provide both electronic and printed Certificates of Guarantee.

The 60-Day Free Trial
For a limited time only, the Re-do Guru is offering fully-functional reincarnations at no charge. Just ask, click and download. Et voilá. We're not talking re-birth lite or some app store tease here. This is the real thing, sorta.

You will receive a high-resolution Certificate of Guarantee (just like real customers), you'll be entitled to a targeted reincarnation of your choice (just like real customers) and you'll be entitled to a double-your-money-back refund if you are dissatisfied. Which is, of course, nothing. (Double nothing is nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch.) For your reincarnation to be operable, all you have to do is die within 60 days of your Free Trial's issue date. Upgrades are available and make refunds worth something. We'll email you options when the time comes.

Help is Available
Deciding on your future self is squarely in the "cross the Rubicon" category of big-time steps. So you may want to tour our site for advice. We recommend that you start by clicking How It Works.

If you are ready to create your reincarnation specifications now, simply fill out the form below:

Recipient Information (You)

Name on Certificate:
Reincarnation Identity:
Email (Optional):

Ironclad & Rock Solid

We like to think of ourselves as craftsmen. Skilled workers in the field of reincarnation. Like all true-blue craftsmen, we stand behind our work.
Double Your Money Back!

Double! - We're so confident you'll be thrilled with your new life that we guarantee it. With a double-your-money-back offer if, following your death, you are not completely satisfied with your rebirth.

Gifts - Unfortunately, we cannot extend this offer to the loved ones you've graced with a future life. Just as you never seem to get the right thing for a birthday gift, you may mess this up, too. And, obviously, the scum you decide to doom can't legitimately complain to us, either. His grim fate is not our fault.

Double your money back guarantees operate only when someone has purchased a new life for himself.

If you feel your reincarnation has been unsatisfactory, just send us proof of your existence on the date of your order and proof of your death sometime thereafter. That's all there is to it. We'll take your word that your transformation was imperfect. If you don't like the new you, you don't like it. No questions asked.

To submit these proofs, contact us for details: please click Contact Us.

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