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George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart penned the wonderful You Can't Take It with You (which won a Pulitzer) and was the basis for Frank Capra's Academy Award-winning film of the same name.
But, while enormously talented and much-rewarded, the whole bunch were quite wrong. In a way.
While you can't (literally) take it with you, you can come back for it. And, to facillitate the process, we'll hold it for you until you return.
Our Responsibility
We will hold your funds (any amount is acceptable) in relatively safe and liquid investments of our choosing. (Keep your fingers crossed.) Income will accrue to the Re-do Guru. Losses are sad, but a real possibility. Brace yourself.
Your Responsibility
Once you are reincarnated, you must prove that you transmitted funds to us prior to your death (a dated, notarized receipt is a good idea); you must then show proof of your "passing." Of course, we must have a record of your reincarnation purchase to validate your claim.
Once all these terms are satisfied, we'll give you your money, if there is any left.
IMPORTANT NOTE: It may take a long, long time to confirm rebirth. Be patient. Your money is probably safe with us.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: The Re-do Guru has mandated that this service be free to all registered customers who purchase a personal reincarnation. What a guy.
PROBATE: This tool is not intended for use in avoiding probate or other inheritance-related inconveniences. You can only forward funds to yourself, not other parties.
Funds Forwarding
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Merchandise Galore Our online store stocks lots of incredible stuff, all of it devoted to "the next time around."
Wear it proudly. The Mulligan Cap announces your impatience with the tedium of the world as we know it and your urgent wish to transform yourself. In a way. Keeps the sun off, too.
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