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George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart penned the wonderful You Can't Take It with You (which won a Pulitzer) and was the basis for Frank Capra's Academy Award-winning film of the same name.
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But, while enormously talented and much-rewarded, the whole bunch were quite wrong. In a way.
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While you can't (literally) take it with you, you can come back for it. And, to facillitate the process, we'll hold it for you until you return.
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Our Responsibility
We will hold your funds (any amount is acceptable) in relatively safe and liquid investments of our choosing. (Keep your fingers crossed.) Income will accrue to the Re-do Guru. Losses are sad, but a real possibility. Brace yourself.
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Your Responsibility
Once you are reincarnated, you must prove that you transmitted funds to us prior to your death (a dated, notarized receipt is a good idea); you must then show proof of your "passing." Of course, we must have a record of your reincarnation purchase to validate your claim.
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Once all these terms are satisfied, we'll give you your money, if there is any left.
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IMPORTANT NOTE: It may take a long, long time to confirm rebirth. Be patient. Your money is probably safe with us.
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VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: The Re-do Guru has mandated that this service be free to all registered customers who purchase a personal reincarnation. What a guy.
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PROBATE: This tool is not intended for use in avoiding probate or other inheritance-related inconveniences. You can only forward funds to yourself, not other parties.
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Funds Forwarding
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Merchandise Galore Our online store stocks lots of incredible stuff, all of it devoted to "the next time around."
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Wear it proudly. The Mulligan Cap announces your impatience with the tedium of the world as we know it and your urgent wish to transform yourself. In a way. Keeps the sun off, too.
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