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Perpetually Stupid

Perpetually Stupid

Reincarnation in the form of an inanimate object is irreversible and perpetual. Any inanimate rebirth will give new meaning to the expression, "Dumb as a box of rocks."

We offer a variety of methods to announce your gift to some lucky recipient. They range from the very traditional, printed card to emailed notifications and downloads you can attach to your own email message.

For more information, read about email, downloads and announcements by clicking Love Notes & Hate Mail.

A handy-dandy primer.

Cheap at Twice the Price.

His Stupendousness.

Satisfied Customers Speak.

Katherine Hepburn said, "Life is hard. After all, it kills you." Which puts the seriousness of the subject clearly before us. And frames the argument for professional consulting when it comes to reincarnation. This is no time to screw up.

Of course, we don't want to hobble your creativity, either. Clearly, we have here a circumstance in which you can let your imagination go. Aim high. Absolutely no personal sacrifice, self-discipline or significant expense is required. Attaining the most remarkable status is available for a pittance.

The King of SiamOne of the first things people think about when it comes to selecting a new life is a role. Astronaut comes to mind. Movie Star. Or Indian Chief. For the slightly more mature, King of Siam or Exxon CEO do the trick. Such choices can be excellent ones, but aren't always a sure thing. A number of astronauts, for instance, had unhappy lives and early deaths. And Mongkut of Siam renounced the keeping of harems and gave all his land away. Ouch. So go carefully here.

Don't be quick to select the role of spouse or child to some potentate, either. A few wives of the privileged have encountered sorry lives. And the kids don't always make out well. In fact, avoid historical precision whenever possible. There's a lot of hidden grief in the careers of the rich and famous.

Time & Place
The Butterfly EffectTime and place can be problematic, too. The future is a promising time to live in, provided there is one. Ya never know. Picking the past can be dicey in ways you can't predict. Especially close to home. Imagine, for instance, being reborn as yourself, only "smarter." How might that turn out, the second time around the same barn? And always remember that the past, recaptured, can change the present. This has become known in reincarnation circles as "the butterfly effect" and is the subject of a Re-do Guru Blog you can contemplate by clicking, Re-do Guru Butterfly Blog.

Occasionally, an enterprising customer will deploy an adjective, altering their reincarnation significantly. For instance, "handsome prince" or "bestselling author." There are, of course, zillions of appropriate modifiers that can truly enhance your next existence. Give this some thought. (Note the adventurous soul in our testimonials section who went with a single adjective: "lucky.")

The Inanimate
Beware the inanimate. Such things are, to put it simply, permanently dead. At least from a practical standpoint. So, coming back as something inanimate will stymie your chances at a life thereafter. Being reborn un-alive is considered in detail here: The Dead Blog.

The Tasteless
At EncoreAgain we have high standards. However, there is no requirement whatsoever regarding good taste. You are on your own.

The Unacceptable
Certain forms of evil are frowned upon by the Re-do Guru. Inconveniently, his sense of what is truly "evil" is unpredictable so no rule can be made to describe it. If you elect something he deems too nasty for words, your request will be rejected and you'll get another chance. Try it and see.

For Yourself
Coming back as your own dog (the best-treated creature in the universe) is a weird idea.

For A Loved One
This is particularly tricky territory. For instance, it is fraught with implication. Giving your girl friend a reincarnation as Angelina Jolie might be a mistake. "Porn Star" is also a questionable choice. "Yourself with a Sense of Humor" will win you no friends. Think this through carefully.

Send a Scum Some Doom
At Devil's IslandDoom is our favorite gift. The possibilities are endless: cockroach, chicken coop custodian, Sisyphus, let your imagination go. However, we advise you to select something that has personal resonance for your intended louse. Work with the fears. For instance, we all know an insect-phobic soul. Try beekeeper here. For someone who is acrophobic: Manhattan window washer. You get the idea.
If the Inanimate Terminate

Just because a thing isn't alive doesn't mean it can't end.

Christmas - What are the implications of being reborn as, say, Christmas 2011? What would you become on the 26th of December?

A Breeze - There's something very attractive about the thought of coming back as a cool summer breeze. Or a cloud. A chuckle? A blink? All short-lived reincarnation forms should have renewals prepared well in advance.


If these and similar issues haunt you, find some solace with an equally troubled mind:
Blogging the Inanimate.

All EncoreAgain Illustrations are
by the gifted Stuart Goldenberg.

EncoreAgain programming
(eCommerce, document creation,
and other back office stuff) was
created by Mike Watson.

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